Tutorial For BGF Members!
Welcome to the latest edition of the Big Gay Family Social Program. After years of improvements, the 2022 Edition of the Program offers a state-of-the-art social experience that gives you an accelerated way of creating friendships and relationships.
The 2022 Edition of Big Gay Family offers an Automated Enrollment process, a 4-Stage social pathway, and a futuristic Social Dashboard for communication.
Included are countless new upgrades and tools that make your time with Big Gay Family a true social adventure.
With a click of a button, you can invite him to join your Social Family or Social Unit. With a single click, you can send an apology or a dinner invitation. In 10 minutes, you can create a Social Contract and find out if he is marriage material.
Instead of meeting Free Agents and exposing yourself to Trauma, inside Big Gay Family, you meet men inside a private and protected social space. You meet men who are emotionally available and willing to spend the time and effort to get to know you.
The last 10 years of the hookup culture set into motion toxic patterns that condition gay men to hurt each other. This is called the Trauma Cycle.
Once abused, gay men act out the abuse on others, hurting them in the process and perpetuating the Trauma Cycle.
This is why the social space in the gay world is getting more toxic every day. Today, more than ever, you must protect yourself from emotional trauma so that when you meet the right person, you are ready to settle down.
Inside Big Gay Family
you are protected from:
Social Positioning determines how easy it is for you to meet gay men and connect with them for long-term relationships. You can become a Free Agent or a Community Man.
A Free Agent is a man who lives outside the community and is desperate for love because he has no emotional support and is always needy, emotionally deprived, and often sexually deprived.
His relationships never work because he wants everything from one person. He is never fully satisfied because he negates the value of group belonging from which his emotional fulfillment comes.
A Community Man is surrounded by others and has so much emotional support that he is never desperate and his relationships are stable and long-lasting.
Becoming a Community Man is your greatest predictor for success with dating, love and building a family.
Inside Big Gay Family, you are building two teams - your Social Family and your Social Unit. Social Family is about love, emotions, and sexuality. Social Unit is about utility, mentorship and collaboration.
Members of your Social Family are gay men with whom you are going to interact regularly, spend holidays with and celebrate birthdays.
These are men who offer emotional validation and a mutual value system. In the case of a husband or a lover, you will enjoy sexual attraction and a strong emotional connection.
In the case of a friend, activity partner, or traveling companion, you will share memories and activities that enrich your personal lives.
Inside Big Gay Family, you welcome all emotional connections and build a group of six men who offer a respectful and loving social experience. In the process of building your Social Family, you practice openness, flexibility, and loving presence.
As a result, you fall in love multiple times and develop emotional connections that lead to lifelong relationships.
Men who belong to your Social Unit can become roommates, mentors, spiritual guides, travel companions. They offer an important insight, lesson and experience. Long term, they can become one of the most important people in your life.
Building your Social Unit helps you keep men in your life who represent the same value system, but don't offer a sexual connection.
Most gay men miss out on amazing relationships with men who offer valuable lessons and insights, but because they don't offer sexual or emotional closeness, they are rejected.
Inside Big Gay Family, you build your Social Unit so that when you need advice, insights, or support - you are never alone and you have instant access to men who can be there for you.
Social Contracts give you Super Powers in terms of navigating the deep waters of intimacy, sexuality and love.
Now, you can quickly find out who has the ability to become a husband or a long-term lover and you can focus on those men who satisfy your need for commitment.
Social Contracts are the fastest way to build a trusting and long-lasting relationship that leads to marriage.
Commitment is the foundation for all long-term relationships. Without commitment, intimacy and love are impossible. To help every gay man practice commitment, we created Commitment Points.
Each time you complete a stage with another person, you earn Commitment Points. Those men with higher Commitment Points are often Husband material and Best-Friend material and are more psychologically ready to enter into long-term relationships.
Commitment Points help you quantify readiness for love and friendships. Those men who struggle to earn Commitment Points have a chance to witness their resistance and can address it for the first time.
Those men who succeed in earning Commitment Points are validated for their readiness for long-term relationships and introduced to men who have a similar level of Commitment Points to speed up relationship creation.
Long-term relationships don't start in a vacuum.
They come out of a special container and a special process that bring both people closer towards commitment and marriage. Without the container and the process, there is no plan, no commitment and most attempts to connect result in rejection.
Even when you have "the best sex ever" - it is not enough to connect. To succeed, you will need the full recipe - People - Container - Process.
Not all gay men are ready for relationships, so the starting point is to choose the men who are READY for an authentic process of relating. Lots of men say they want a lover, but the moment they have to talk about emotions, they shut down and walk away.
Many gay men want a family, but when conflicts happen they shut down and walk away. This is why we need to have the right men first - educated gay men who understand the behavioral requirements for love & relationships.
Once we have the right PEOPLE, we invite them into the right CONTAINER that protects them from toxic situations and mistakes. The best container is a community that has principles and ethics that maintain high quality of interactions and invite high quality men.
For example, the right Container has protections against behaviors that create Trauma, such as abandonment, ambivalence and rejection. The right Container has quality control measures so that good behaviors are rewarded and bad behaviors are identified and corrected. Inside Big Gay Family, you get quality control with Communication Zones and CC Codes.
Finally, once you have the right men and the right container for them, we need the mechanism for intimacy. This is the 4-Stage process: Bridge, Extensions, Social Contracts & Arrangements. This process helps you connect to men in a step-by-step way so that mistakes are avoided and they become long-term friends and lovers.