Welcome to the Family Messenger - a powerful communication tool built for gay men that helps you create intimacy FAST and helps you connect emotionally with other men for long term relationships including marriage, companionship, and best friends.
The secondary purpose of the Family Messenger is to guide you through the Social Pathways inside the Big Gay Family Social Program so that you build your "Family of 6" - the main goal of your involvement inside the program.
The Gay Advantage
Gay men have an advantage when it comes to building relationships. The gender differences do not complicate our relationships the way they complicate the relationships between men and women.
Theoretically, after removing the issues related to gay shame, gay men should have an easier way with relationships. This belief is the reason why I have worked so hard over the years to find a solution that brings gay men together for healthy long-term relationships.
In 2012 I had a vision of a Relationship Matrix - a pyramid-like structure that organizes gay men according to their relationship experience and psychological development and guides them through introductions, protocols, and assignments into their "Hero's Journey" of self-discovery and relationship development.
Your Hero's Journey
For each participant, the involvement inside the Big Gay Family becomes the rite of passage into adulthood, into the relationship-way-of-life that so many gay men want to experience but lack the methodology and pathways to make it happen.
This Hero's Journey, or what sometimes is called the Rite Of Passage, symbolizes the initiation into being a man - it is the final exam on the way to a rich experience of love, relationships, and family life.
That initiation into being a family-man is the goal of the Big Gay Family Social Program. As a graduate of the program, each man is ready for marriage and has built a social container - Family Of 6 men.
To accomplish that, we need advanced tools for introductions, communication, and learning. The Family Messenger is the latest communication tool to help us self-actualize and pass through the initiation into masculinity and family life.
Current ways of communication and meeting men
Let's now look at the present and see how we communicate with each other. Most gay men would say that they are very disappointed. They would say that most of the gay communication today is toxic. Most gay men would agree that the hookup culture has taken over the entire gay culture and that gay men communicate only through their states of arousal.
This means that the motivation to be with other men is not based on building permanence - something that is strong and meaningful and that carries you through the dark times - but instead, the motivation is solely based on random moments of sexual arousal and impulsivity.
This creates a cycle of hurt and trauma that always leads to depression and loss of hope for a loving relationship.
Can this style of communication create a marriage?
Can arousal be the beginning of a beautiful relationship?
Can authentic relationships be sustained for the long term if they begin inside an impulsive desire?
Of course not.
Relationships need clarity, organization, and intelligence. Nobody has ever built anything beautiful out of a spontaneous reaction to an impulse.
All healthy relationships in your life will be the most complex projects you will ever undertake and to succeed you will need the right tools, attitudes, and lots of practice.
The challenge to communication
Now, let's look at the biggest challenge to all relationships when it comes to communication - the inability to say what we feel and therefore staying invisible inside relationships.
To be "seen" inside relationships implies to witness our own emotions and to communicate them to the other person. But this is not as easy, especially for gay men who have no training in emotional communication.
This is why most gay men feel invisible even though they seem to have contact with other men.
Emotional Deprivation & Trauma Bonding
Emotional communication is the GLUE that binds human relationships.
Emotional deprivation is what happens when we no longer use emotion and instead substitute sex and pleasure to compensate for it.
In many cases, in the absence of emotion, the connection is only made through trauma - the hurt and the pain that leads to a sensation of a connection but in fact is abusive.
Most gay men experience trauma bonds instead of authentic bonds in their relationships. Most relationships without healthy emotional bonding are narcissistic relationships that ALWAYS result in pain and disappointment.
Understanding the need for emotional communication is the basis for entering into the world of intimacy and romance.
You are better off in your life when you have a companion with whom you communicate emotionally well, rather than when you have a sexual relationship without emotional exchange.
You can be happy and fulfilled in the emotional companionship even when sex is moderate.
You will always be anxious and depressed inside a sexual relationship without a healthy emotional exchange.
Intimacy is what we secretly desire. When the level of intimacy is high, we feel happy, inspired, and connected. When the intimacy level goes down, we feel unloved, unworthy, and lonely.
When we have no intimacy in our lives we die inside!
Intimacy, therefore, is the fuel for life!
And it can come from many people, not just a husband or a lover.
This is why the strongest foundation for our psychological health and resilience are the friends and family members we have prior to meeting the primary lover or companion.
The discomfort to confront
The challenge to healthy communication is often the discomfort of confrontation. With the Family Messenger, you can send a complex message without the need to say it directly - avoiding the fear of rejection, confrontation, or mental anguish.
If in the past you felt uncomfortable inside a direct confrontation, the Family Messenger offers you the way to communicate emotional complexity without the anxiety and overwhelm that often comes with it.
With Family Messenger - you can share all emotions, needs, requests, and invitations in a way that creates authentic intimacy and long term bond that will not be easily broken.
If you want marriage and long term relationships - the Family Messenger will show you how lovers communicate and solve problems to give you a preview of what is to come ahead in your family journey.
See you in the program,