Big Gay Family started as a matchmaking service in 2010 in Miami and we discovered that the matchmaking model for relationships is only effective in a society where everyone has supportive parents, has many friends and the only thing missing is a lover.   

Today, most gay men do not have supportive parents and they have very few friends, so the matchmaking model for relationships no longer works. 

Big Gay Family is a social program that focuses on the community model for relationships where you build a strong support system based on friendships first and then romantic partners.  

To create loving relationships you will need three "things" working together.  You will need to meet the right people, you will need to meet them in the right places and you will need the right dating process to connect with them.

Today, most gay men meet others in the wrong places that offer no protection from abandonment and no standards for interactions.  They also meet the wrong people who are not ready for relationships and who lack the communication skills to relate to others.   Lastly, without a proper dating process, no matter who you meet, the connection cannot take place because of the mistakes that always happen as a result of self-sabotage, conflicting needs, and fears of intimacy.

For best results, we recommend a 12-month membership so that you receive at least 12 introductions and practice all tools offered in the program.  

Most members stay with the program for many years and enjoy convenient access to monthly introductions.

While everyone else is using the "fisherman" approach for dating where men want to "fish out" their lover,  inside Big Gay Family we use a community model.  You become a community member and meet 10-24 other gay men and get to know them across the span of many months.  Out of those friendships, a romantic love affair happens organically without pressure and desperation.

You no longer meet strangers and hope that one day "it happens".   You meet gay men the way that relationships happened in most of human history - inside a community.  Only a community space can offer a level of protection and guidance that is strong enough to help a gay man who is emotionally deprived create relationships that are authentic, respectful, and long-lasting.

Outside of a community, you always meet "Free Agents" who are gay men operating outside the principles and protections of a community space.  Those men are too risky because they are not accountable to any principles, rules of conduct, and social ethics that a community offers.

We match members based on their level of maturity, emotional intelligence, and experience with relationships.  We also use age, education, personality type, and location.

Big Gay Family delivers an unprecedented level of positive results for our members, the highest in the industry.  Since the beginning of the program, nobody has ever been able to replicate our results on his own outside of the program or with any other service.  

90% of all introductions last beyond 3 months and 20-30% of our members are in loving relationships, living together or in marriages.  All members who remain in the program for longer than 3 months are 100% guaranteed to experience friendships and relationships that are authentic and genuine. 

Those gay men who do not succeed with Big Gay Family have expectations of instant gratification, are driven exclusively by sex, and lack communication skills to bond with others.  The program is designed to protect our members from those men and they rarely join our program. 

The Continuity Principle eliminates rejections, abandonment, and awkward moments when you are getting to know someone and experience doubt about the direction of the relationship.  Instead of expressing your doubt with each other, you discuss your feelings and observations with a third party - often a coach or your Guardian.  

The Continuity Principle is a protection mechanism against self-sabotage and fear of intimacy.  This principle ensures that most people you meet inside Big Gay Family will remain in your life for many years, often a lifetime.

With Basic Membership, you meet one person every month.  With the Professional and Premium Memberships, you meet two men every month which is up to 24 men over the course of a one-year of membership.  You can adjust how many men you meet by pausing introductions at any time and resuming them later.  You don't lose your introductions when you pause them and resume later.  

We have been promoting our program to meetup groups across 90 cities in the US, UK, and Australia.  Our program has reached over 120,000 gay men on meetup alone.  With Facebook and YouTube, we reach an additional 45,000 members.  

While we cannot make any guarantees, it is very likely that you will receive introductions to men in your area.   Your membership is 1 year in duration and you will receive local and nonlocal introductions so that we give everyone access to men, including men who live in remote areas.

Big Gay Family attracts gay men who value intelligence, communication, and openness.  Here is the list of professions inside Big Gay Family.  Teachers, Nurses, Physicians, Realtors,  Lawyers, Programmers, Managers, Business Owners, Coaches, Spiritual healers, Reiki healers, Daytraders, Musicians, Engineers, and Artists.

The (3P) methodology that makes Big Gay Family so successful has three parts: People-Place-Process.  To ensure loving relationships we need to bring the right People into the right Place with the right dating Process.  

The right People are gay men who are open to learning and who are open to getting to know others across weeks and months.  The right Place includes principles and standards for interactions so that there is clarity about what behaviors are productive and what behaviors are not.  

The right dating Process ensures that every time members of Big Gay Family interact, they have guidance about each step of the dating process so that mistakes are avoided and connections are facilitated.  

When you experience all three parts, it is difficult to fail and virtually all members of the Big Gay Family create relationships that last a lifetime.

The Golden Circle Social Contract (GCSC) is a together-forever spiritual contract for gay men who want to experience a friendship or a relationship that is spiritually enhanced.  Once the contract is set into motion, it cannot be undone and the souls of each person are permanently bonded.

To make this possible,  a third person (Guardian) blesses the relationship and becomes a witness to the Spiritual Contract.  To participate in this contract a member has to have good standing in the program for at least six months and has to successfully complete a minimum of six social contracts before being granted access to the Golden Circle.

Borrowed from the Hindu tradition,  a Canonical Family is an arrangement of six gay men into a spiritual family.  This arrangement is done by our coaches who choose the men and facilitate the arrangement.  

The goal of this arrangement is to give men an experience of a spiritual container outside of the traditional family design.  The Canonical Family can be a precursor to a communal house arrangement where six men choose to live together and rent a house together.

No. Big Gay Family teachings include a variety of spiritual practices ranging from Buddhism, Hinduism, Nonduality and some parts of Christianity and Sufism.  Each person chooses his own spiritual practice and receives guidance that supports his preferences.

In a world that is hurting we needed to bring powerful healing practices to as many gay men as possible. So far, meditation has been the easiest and the most powerful modality to remove stress, encourage introspection, and bring self-awareness to what matters most.  

We found that when gay men are meditating, they become open, more authentic, and more self-accepting.  Everyone inside Big Gay Family receives a 12-week guided Sufi meditation program in addition to other training available.

Yes, gay couples can also participate inside Big Gay Family and get to know other gay couples or create friendships with our members.   If you are a couple, you choose the person who will be "interfacing" with the program and receiving introductions.  

After 3 months, the other partner will begin his introductions.  As a couple, you will be offered a special agreement where you both agree with each other that you use the program for friendships only so that there is no fear of breaking your commitments.  

To sign up for the program, please use the Premium Membership level.

Yes,  you can cancel your membership at any time. Your participation in the program is voluntary.  

After you join, you will be asked to fill out a questionnaire and set up an orientation call with one of our coaches.  Regardless of which package you choose, you will receive an invitation call from Paul and a blessing for your journey with us.

Yes, you can switch between plans at any time.  Each level of membership has a setup fee of $250 including when you switch the level of membership.