Finding the right match is only 20% of success. Making it work with him is 80%. When we meet a man who we thought was perfect but we cannot "make things work" with him - we are supposed to adjust our definition of our ideal match.
This adjustment is what leads us to choose a DIFFERENT man next time - the kind of man who is willing and capable to "make things work" with us. Then once you find this kind of man - you are ready for marriage.
Most men meet others in places where the "making it work" is not encouraged and never happens, so the adjustment also never happens and for many years we chase a person without even knowing if that person is good for us.
Develop deeper relationships with lots of men so that you can figure out who the ideal person is. Meet men in healthy places so that you can experience them outside of sexuality. This is the reason why the Big Gay Family Social Program is so effective. It connects you with lots of men and gives you deeper access to them that allows you to find out who you are and who your ideal lover is.